Get hip and spread the love.
From Shine On Me Productions, et al:
and
From ShowlistDC:
These are the things that you
THINK are exclusive, but really aren’t.
Go fucking figure, right??
Enjoy!Go fucking figure, right??
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Guy Code is REAL, yo!
I have to admit.
A guilty pleasure of mine, is the show 'Cheaters'. I KNOW! It’s yours too???!!!
LOL
No, but for real. The raw emotion that is witnessed from the victim makes for EPIC TV. In most cases, I watch, and feel like...'Damn. Sure sucks to be them.' OR 'OMG!!! GTFOHWTBS!!'
Really.
Anyway, here is a little story about the first time I realized I was being cheated on...
(Not sure if I should use names, so yeah. Alias. * means fake, Ok?)
It was 1st semester, 2nd year. (I won’t say Freshman, Sophomore, Junior or Senior year...cuz I spent WAY more time than necessary in school. GO MSU!)
After dinner in the refac everyone gathered to the back of Rawlings. Shoot the shit. Catch up on the gossip. Meet with the homies to go the gym. Whatever it was. This was the meeting place. A 'let out' of sorts from the cafeteria, if you will.
I'm sitting with my friends. Gabbing. Doing what we do best and THERE he was.
THE cutest and most plump of light skinned greatness I had seen SINCE...Summer break. (I had a moment where I REALLY liked big dudes. Like, infatuated. I got that love from Cedric The Entertainer. *goosebumps* That man is FAHN! I love that extra-large piece of dark chocolate!)
He was a new student. (Morgan is not that huge. You kinda had a feeling of who was who cuz we pretty much knew each other. Even if you didn't speak to them...you knew who they were.)
Anyway, (this is where things may become fuzzy. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about this) after Summer break, I realized my 'power' and became pretty confident in my first impression skills. No bragadociousness. At all. Just after missing out on all the cuties in HS, I realized that I had to go for what I liked and wanted when I was ready. Not the other way around. No mas.
I approached him. Not sure if it was THAT very day or a few days later. Either way, I know that I made the first move.
His name was Anthony*.
Over the course of a week or so, I introduced him to all of my friends. You know, cuz that's how you make a new student feel welcomed, right? *rolls eyes* *giggles*
He hit it off with them all. ESPECIALLY the guys. In this small world of ours, there are connections everywhere.
Ok.
He was pretty much the boo thang right off jump. Got along with everyone. Open-minded. Talented (he used to sing, or something). Creative (he was an artist too). And he was, AGAIN, the cutest lil butterball ever. Wore these black, thick rimmed glasses (another thing I liked) and he dressed different. (I like ALL things different. I'm an Aquarius and self-proclaimed weirdo. So, different entices me.) We spent lots of time together. He was fun to be around. We dated for about 6 months. I think.
Again, fuzzy memories.
Where things got different...
One day, before class, I decided to visit him at his dorm. (he lived on the first level of Baldwin. The RA's knew me and most times, I didn't have to sign in.) I walk in the building, say whats up to the RA on Duty at the desk, and he stops me in my tracks.
Me? I look around like, whats up? He says, I can’t go there today. Josh is sick or something.
LOL. Ok. I'm the GF, right? Let me go check on my punkin.
No haps. He would NOT let me go.
I'm not...well I WASN'T the arguing type, so I said cool.
Took a glance at the sign-in sheet and saw, next to his room number, a name. Scribble. But I saw a name. No problem. I'll address it later with him.
At dinner, I tell my girls what happened earlier in the day. Hell breaks loose.
See? My friends are natural born investigators. And I am THANKFUL to have met these women cuz they taught me a lot.
I tell Stacy*, Stephanie*, Sheila* and Patricia* what happened and we ALL go to the dorm after dinner. No 'let out' chillin for us.
Wait. Not true. We go to the gym. As certified gym rats, that's what we did.
Dinner.
Let out.
Gym. (Gym Rats=Honorary Group of Girls that talked shit to ALL the ball players. It’s what we did. And we did it well. TOO well. I'll share my claim to Gym Rat fame another time.)
We hit the dorm after.
So, I again, make my way to his room. Stopped. SMH What is really going on? As I plead my case to get in, Stacy or Stephanie checked the sign-in sheet to see whose name it was.
Got it.
We roll out.
Now, I don't particularly remember ole girl’s name. But, I knew who she was.
Now, ALL God's creatures are beautiful. In their OWN way. (May Allah forgive me) But even on my WORST day, I was prettier than her. (Now that I'm older, I realize that looks are not everything. Sure. But...NOT in 1998)
Anydamnway, I couldn't believe this bamma was messing with HER behind my back. *rolls eyes* Ok. So, it was never confirmed at that time, but, all signs AND my stomach told me otherwise.
So, those homies of mine that I introduced him to, SMH, they kept the secret from me.
Like, they ALL did.
SIGH (flashbacks of a scorned young bittie just entered my soul)
For about 2 weeks, my girls and I investigated.
AND...we got the truth!
What we did next, I am not proud of. So I will not disclose said scheme. But it was a doozy.
Took lots of time, acting skills and major knowledge of MS Word and Excel. I learned LOTS in college!
Anyway, the rumor mill made him out to be an asshole. I felt vindicated.
Still, hurt tho. Not really cuz he cheated. But that my friends lied to keep his confidence.
I mean, I understand 'The Code' and all, but I just didn't see how messing with a girl that looked like the bottom of my worst pair of Chucks, made him feel like 'the man'. *shrug*
Whatevs.
He dropped out of school. Ole sucka ass negro couldn't think straight cuz of all the puss he was gettin. Failed right on out. His mama didn't play that. When I saw him packing his shit up, another ugg mugg was helping him. LOL This bamma couldn't make a come-up to save his life.
Oh well.
I haven't seen him since.
I haven't thought about him or this situation in YEARS. But, I wonder how he made out in life. From what I know, he probably coulda been part of one of the greatest entourage in DC. LMAO
Fucktard.
Shout out to Jim* and Steve*! Hey y'all, HEY!!
A guilty pleasure of mine, is the show 'Cheaters'. I KNOW! It’s yours too???!!!
LOL
No, but for real. The raw emotion that is witnessed from the victim makes for EPIC TV. In most cases, I watch, and feel like...'Damn. Sure sucks to be them.' OR 'OMG!!! GTFOHWTBS!!'
Really.
Anyway, here is a little story about the first time I realized I was being cheated on...
(Not sure if I should use names, so yeah. Alias. * means fake, Ok?)
It was 1st semester, 2nd year. (I won’t say Freshman, Sophomore, Junior or Senior year...cuz I spent WAY more time than necessary in school. GO MSU!)
After dinner in the refac everyone gathered to the back of Rawlings. Shoot the shit. Catch up on the gossip. Meet with the homies to go the gym. Whatever it was. This was the meeting place. A 'let out' of sorts from the cafeteria, if you will.
I'm sitting with my friends. Gabbing. Doing what we do best and THERE he was.
THE cutest and most plump of light skinned greatness I had seen SINCE...Summer break. (I had a moment where I REALLY liked big dudes. Like, infatuated. I got that love from Cedric The Entertainer. *goosebumps* That man is FAHN! I love that extra-large piece of dark chocolate!)
He was a new student. (Morgan is not that huge. You kinda had a feeling of who was who cuz we pretty much knew each other. Even if you didn't speak to them...you knew who they were.)
Anyway, (this is where things may become fuzzy. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about this) after Summer break, I realized my 'power' and became pretty confident in my first impression skills. No bragadociousness. At all. Just after missing out on all the cuties in HS, I realized that I had to go for what I liked and wanted when I was ready. Not the other way around. No mas.
I approached him. Not sure if it was THAT very day or a few days later. Either way, I know that I made the first move.
His name was Anthony*.
Over the course of a week or so, I introduced him to all of my friends. You know, cuz that's how you make a new student feel welcomed, right? *rolls eyes* *giggles*
He hit it off with them all. ESPECIALLY the guys. In this small world of ours, there are connections everywhere.
Ok.
He was pretty much the boo thang right off jump. Got along with everyone. Open-minded. Talented (he used to sing, or something). Creative (he was an artist too). And he was, AGAIN, the cutest lil butterball ever. Wore these black, thick rimmed glasses (another thing I liked) and he dressed different. (I like ALL things different. I'm an Aquarius and self-proclaimed weirdo. So, different entices me.) We spent lots of time together. He was fun to be around. We dated for about 6 months. I think.
Again, fuzzy memories.
Where things got different...
One day, before class, I decided to visit him at his dorm. (he lived on the first level of Baldwin. The RA's knew me and most times, I didn't have to sign in.) I walk in the building, say whats up to the RA on Duty at the desk, and he stops me in my tracks.
Me? I look around like, whats up? He says, I can’t go there today. Josh is sick or something.
LOL. Ok. I'm the GF, right? Let me go check on my punkin.
No haps. He would NOT let me go.
I'm not...well I WASN'T the arguing type, so I said cool.
Took a glance at the sign-in sheet and saw, next to his room number, a name. Scribble. But I saw a name. No problem. I'll address it later with him.
At dinner, I tell my girls what happened earlier in the day. Hell breaks loose.
See? My friends are natural born investigators. And I am THANKFUL to have met these women cuz they taught me a lot.
I tell Stacy*, Stephanie*, Sheila* and Patricia* what happened and we ALL go to the dorm after dinner. No 'let out' chillin for us.
Wait. Not true. We go to the gym. As certified gym rats, that's what we did.
Dinner.
Let out.
Gym. (Gym Rats=Honorary Group of Girls that talked shit to ALL the ball players. It’s what we did. And we did it well. TOO well. I'll share my claim to Gym Rat fame another time.)
We hit the dorm after.
So, I again, make my way to his room. Stopped. SMH What is really going on? As I plead my case to get in, Stacy or Stephanie checked the sign-in sheet to see whose name it was.
Got it.
We roll out.
Now, I don't particularly remember ole girl’s name. But, I knew who she was.
Now, ALL God's creatures are beautiful. In their OWN way. (May Allah forgive me) But even on my WORST day, I was prettier than her. (Now that I'm older, I realize that looks are not everything. Sure. But...NOT in 1998)
Anydamnway, I couldn't believe this bamma was messing with HER behind my back. *rolls eyes* Ok. So, it was never confirmed at that time, but, all signs AND my stomach told me otherwise.
So, those homies of mine that I introduced him to, SMH, they kept the secret from me.
Like, they ALL did.
SIGH (flashbacks of a scorned young bittie just entered my soul)
For about 2 weeks, my girls and I investigated.
AND...we got the truth!
What we did next, I am not proud of. So I will not disclose said scheme. But it was a doozy.
Took lots of time, acting skills and major knowledge of MS Word and Excel. I learned LOTS in college!
Anyway, the rumor mill made him out to be an asshole. I felt vindicated.
Still, hurt tho. Not really cuz he cheated. But that my friends lied to keep his confidence.
I mean, I understand 'The Code' and all, but I just didn't see how messing with a girl that looked like the bottom of my worst pair of Chucks, made him feel like 'the man'. *shrug*
Whatevs.
He dropped out of school. Ole sucka ass negro couldn't think straight cuz of all the puss he was gettin. Failed right on out. His mama didn't play that. When I saw him packing his shit up, another ugg mugg was helping him. LOL This bamma couldn't make a come-up to save his life.
Oh well.
I haven't seen him since.
I haven't thought about him or this situation in YEARS. But, I wonder how he made out in life. From what I know, he probably coulda been part of one of the greatest entourage in DC. LMAO
Fucktard.
Shout out to Jim* and Steve*! Hey y'all, HEY!!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
TRIFE LIFE!!!!
*throws up two greasy spoons as a gang sign*
I go to grab a paper towel and this is what I see:
And this is the message that, I, in turn posted on the fridge after I cleaned it up.
Note to all:
Don't be a nasty fucking mess at work.
I go to grab a paper towel and this is what I see:
BEFORE I HAD MY CUP OF COFFEE, THIS MESS IS WHAT I SAW.
TERRIBLE.
YOUR ATTEMPT AT CLEAN UP IS A DISASTER AT BEST. AND FROM WHAT THE RUMOR MILL HAS SENT, IT WAS SITTING THERE FOR AT LEAST 30 MINUTES.
THIS COFFEE WAS STARBUCKS. THE EVIDENCE WAS LEFT IN THE TRASH. I GUESS THE 5 MINUTES IT TOOK TO CROSS THE STREET, TO WAIT 10 MINUTES IN LINE AND PAY $5 FOR YOUR CUP MADE YOU TOO GOOD TO TAKE 5-7 MINUTES TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS.
AGAIN, TERRIBLE.
WE ALL SHARE THIS SPACE. WE ALL NEED TO WORK TOGETHER TO KEEP IT CLEAN.
WE ARE ON THE SAME FLOOR AS BUILDING SERVICES. ASK THEM TO HELP OR ASK FOR SUPPLIES TO TAKE CARE OF THE MESS.
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR REPLACEMENT CUP. MINE WAS COLD.
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
Note to all:
Don't be a nasty fucking mess at work.
Happy Birthday, Daddy
May you rest in eternal peace.
Sunday was my dad's birthday.
Sad.
Why?
Because I forgot.
How'd I remember?
An hour after having a major blow out with my mother.
Even sadder.
You know, God has a way of sending messages to us. Its not ever easy to pick up the message. Even the most spiritual or philosophical of minds miss them. I think for me, its takes something to literally smack me in the face to realize it.
Literally.
I'm sure that's probably what mommy wanted to do to me that morning.
*shrug*
Later that day, I shared with my daughter that it was his birthday. She stopped reading. Looked at me with an expressionless face, and said, 'But mommy, he died. We can't have a party.'
I smiled.
Told her that I know. And that she was right and that I was just telling her.
Then, this time with a smile, 'Well, mommy, don't be sad. I'll draw a picture.'
She's 6.
Innocence and discovery is what fills her mind. I hope its never lost.
Anyway, I've lost my train of thought. Could be cuz its 5:54am and the 'going to work' anxiety has kicked in.
So, I'm out.
Monday, July 29, 2013
One kid is all I got in me. Really.
**DISCLAIMER**
If you are offended by my opinion, the problem is you. Not me.
Have a good day.
Enjoy. There may be MANY moments of discomfort that may come your way.
*gives the side-eye to my mother*
I have a daughter. She's amazing.
She is. Really.
Not to take anything away from you parents that have more that one child, BUT, HOW DO Y'ALL DO IT?
*takes deep breath and clutches my pearls*
Either way. Kudos and Godspeed to you all.
I
couldn't
do
it.
Early 2006.
I was 27. Chillin. In my prime...of sorts.
Working and lovin up a boo thang.
Then all of a sudden...BOOM! Preggers.
LAWD!
I never really thought about having kids. A lot of folks thought my youngest sister WAS my kid.
Ive always been great with them. Just never imagined having my own. LOL What a thought, right?
Now. Fast forward to today.
If y'all ask me ONE MORE TIME when I'm having another, I'm gonna roll my eyes out of damn head!
My reason for not partaking in another dependent:
1. I don't do multiple baby daddies. AT ALL.
-I have a hard enough time getting along with the one I have now. And WE were married. So, yeah. I'm good on that. I say silent prayers for parents with multiple BD's and BM's. If y'all like it, I love it. Sure, everyone says, 'You could meet someone special and get married. What if he wants another?' Blah Blah BLAH etc etc ETC...
So, yeah. That's it.
I'm sure, to everyone else, I could have many more reasons. But that's all I got. This lone reason, puts the fear of Aramageddon in my heart.
And I'm not here for it.
Truth.
Soooo, to all de aunty and uncle dem wey want me for marry dem boy pekin dem...STOP!
Its not happening.
My lone, wonderful, spoiled brat, is the only gift that this uterus can bless the world with.
If you are offended by my opinion, the problem is you. Not me.
Have a good day.
Enjoy. There may be MANY moments of discomfort that may come your way.
*gives the side-eye to my mother*
I have a daughter. She's amazing.
She is. Really.
Not to take anything away from you parents that have more that one child, BUT, HOW DO Y'ALL DO IT?
*takes deep breath and clutches my pearls*
Either way. Kudos and Godspeed to you all.
I
couldn't
do
it.
Early 2006.
I was 27. Chillin. In my prime...of sorts.
Working and lovin up a boo thang.
Then all of a sudden...BOOM! Preggers.
LAWD!
I never really thought about having kids. A lot of folks thought my youngest sister WAS my kid.
Ive always been great with them. Just never imagined having my own. LOL What a thought, right?
Now. Fast forward to today.
If y'all ask me ONE MORE TIME when I'm having another, I'm gonna roll my eyes out of damn head!
My reason for not partaking in another dependent:
1. I don't do multiple baby daddies. AT ALL.
-I have a hard enough time getting along with the one I have now. And WE were married. So, yeah. I'm good on that. I say silent prayers for parents with multiple BD's and BM's. If y'all like it, I love it. Sure, everyone says, 'You could meet someone special and get married. What if he wants another?' Blah Blah BLAH etc etc ETC...
So, yeah. That's it.
I'm sure, to everyone else, I could have many more reasons. But that's all I got. This lone reason, puts the fear of Aramageddon in my heart.
And I'm not here for it.
Truth.
Soooo, to all de aunty and uncle dem wey want me for marry dem boy pekin dem...STOP!
Its not happening.
My lone, wonderful, spoiled brat, is the only gift that this uterus can bless the world with.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
New Shit...
2 parts Fuckery.
5 parts RATCHET.
Welcome world to your daily dose of fuckery.
On my terms.
In my voice.
THE WAY I SAY IT TO BE!!
Hi.
Im Haja.
Oh. I forgot how some of yall are with names that are 'different'.
Its not hard. 4 letters. 2 syllables.
HA
JAH...there it is. Phonetically.
In fact, brings up a memory from High School graduation. SMH
They could say Kocheryozhkin with NO problem. But I had to write out. Phonetically. My name.
Fucktards.
Anyways, first and foremost, I would like to thank my work boo, TBoogs, for MAKING me do this.
I mean, Ive always wanted to, but SHE made it possible, as I take this 'lunch' break to get this started.
Ok.
Kudos to her cuz its KUDOS for yall!
Hot damn!!
Let the games begin!!!
5 parts RATCHET.
Welcome world to your daily dose of fuckery.
On my terms.
In my voice.
THE WAY I SAY IT TO BE!!
Hi.
Im Haja.
Oh. I forgot how some of yall are with names that are 'different'.
Its not hard. 4 letters. 2 syllables.
HA
JAH...there it is. Phonetically.
In fact, brings up a memory from High School graduation. SMH
They could say Kocheryozhkin with NO problem. But I had to write out. Phonetically. My name.
Fucktards.
Anyways, first and foremost, I would like to thank my work boo, TBoogs, for MAKING me do this.
I mean, Ive always wanted to, but SHE made it possible, as I take this 'lunch' break to get this started.
Ok.
Kudos to her cuz its KUDOS for yall!
Hot damn!!
Let the games begin!!!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)